I think that a lot of the things on this list. If not all the things on this list, not only make a woman lose attraction. But also end up negatively impacting you. Guys when you do them anyway, regardless of if it involves women or not. So that’s kind of the direction I wanted to go with this article. I know the comments are going to be kind of all over the place on this one.
People will comment before they watch, and I just wanted to start by clarifying that again. I don’t think these are things that you should be doing. I don’t think they’re beneficial to you or the people around you. So let’s get it.
1 Lack of control or being too passive.
A man who has no control or ownership or accountability over his life is a huge turnoff to women. Know that’s going to rattle some of you, but I’m, again, trying to be honest. Regardless of if you wouldn’t hear that or not. Women like a confident guy who can lead, who can be a little bit more direct and dominant. And someone who makes her feel secure. You’ve probably heard that a million times.
I wanna feel secure women wanna feel secure. And I know you’re probably tired of hearing that, but it’s incredibly true. Especially when we’re talking about what women look for in a partner. Making decisions, sticking to them, having your own opinions, not being so passive all the time, or, you know, being a pushover or just agreeing to do whatever she says.
I know social media sometimes makes it seem like women just want a little puppet or rag doll to control or make them do whatever they want. But this is in fact, not true women, like a man who is a leader, plain. And. When you have a lack of control over your life, or you’re just incredibly passive. You know, it can make you seem like you’re not confident.
Like you’re insecure. Like you’re not sure of yourself like you’re not confident in your abilities or your decisions or your actions. And this is just a turn-off to women, plain and simple. And this is why I encourage all of you to be confident in yourself, and the direction you’re going, write down your goals, write down what you want and what you need to do to get there and have a purpose for your life. I mean, I’ve done so many articles that cover this a lot more in-depth. So I won’t go super in-depth
2 We have emotional vomiting.
And I mentioned this briefly in the vulnerability article that I made and how men, a lot of the time will confuse emotional vomiting with being vulnerable.
And they’re two totally different things. So I wanna try to kind of explain it a little bit more here today. As I said, this is something that men often get confused with vulnerability and then say that they were vulnerable and get upset that it didn’t work or that it was not received well, but that’s because it’s not an actual vulnerability and it’s emotional vomiting.
So what is emotional vomiting? Let’s get into it. Emotional vomiting is a lack of control. As I mentioned in my last point. Simply not the same as just being vulnerable with someone, many of us don’t know how to properly express our emotions and it leads to what we call emotional vomiting, which is emotional vomit when you suddenly unload an inappropriate amount of emotions and personal history onto a conversation.
Usually to the utter horror of the person listening. And when I did my vulnerability article, someone commented and left a great example. And instead of creating something new, I decided to just share these examples with you, because I think they help explain it and paint things in a clearer picture.
So example one is being vulnerable. It says you work at a job. And one day you mention that sometimes you feel like your soul is telling you to quit and pursue woodworking, which has been a lifelong passion and hobby of yours. The woman gets insight into you as a person and you become more relatable and lovable.
She’s able to see that you have a passion for something you’re interested in something, you know. You are conveying that you have control over your life, but you’re thinking maybe you want to, you know, pursue something else. And you’re telling her, you are maybe seeing a different direction for yourself.
That’s being vulnerable. You’re being open about the fact that you know, maybe what I’m doing right now, isn’t what I would love to do forever. And I have other passions and hobbies that interest me being vulnerable is sharing things about yourself that maybe you don’t just share with everyone. Would you go up to a stranger on the street and tell them?
Probably not. You would tell someone that you like about that or someone in your life. So being vulnerable is not just freaking out or crying or having the greatest freak-out of all time. That is not what being vulnerable is. And I think a lot of times people get confused by that example, too that would be emotional vomit or overbearing would be.
After work every day at your job, you complain to your woman about how stressful the day is and how you hate doing repetitive tasks are annoyed by customers and dislike all of your colleagues. The woman gets stressed out hearing about your problems and generally sees you as an unpleasant person to be around.
The difference here is that when you do this and when you complain. And you aren’t doing anything to fix it, or take action, you are showing, as. I mentioned before, a lack of control over your life. That is not something that women typically receive well, because women want to be with someone confident, who is a leader who has control over their life, who is not passive and kind of just all over the place.
Not to say that there’s a right or wrong way to be vulnerable, but there is being vulnerable. And then there’s not being vulnerable and mistaking it for being vulnerable, which is typically what comes across as very overbearing and as emotional vomit. And then on the totally opposite spectrum here being vulnerable to just be manipulative or to say that you were vulnerable with someone is not actually being vulnerable.
That’s just trying to trick someone or being manipulative. So that’s a whole different. If you constantly need emotional support from the girl that you’re dating, that’s not being vulnerable. It’s a matter of not having the tools you need internally to fix your own issues and relying on that person to take the burden and brunt of your problems and try to fix them for you, which is going to be a huge turn-off to women.
So I know this is kind of confusing, but I really hope that this helped paint a clearer picture and show you guys the difference.
3 Clingy and needy behavior.
which is a surefire way to kill, and attract. Leave a little bit of room for imagination and mystery guys. How to not be needy and clingy, how to know if you’re being needy and clingy and what you can do to fix it. And I’m mentioning it again here because I just want to reiterate its importance.
This shows insecurity low self-esteem and overly seeking someone else’s approval or validation. Maybe you’re blowing up her phone or wondering what she’s doing 24 /7. And that’s just an example here, but if she hasn’t replied to your message, the worst thing you can do is be overly needy and clingy and blow up her.
It makes you look bad and incredibly insecure, which we don’t wanna be doing. And a pro tip here is if you have time to be obsessively talking to someone all day, you need to find something else to do. This could also look like being incredibly distrustful again, worrying about what she’s doing all the time, or being overly distressing or jealous.
When someone hasn’t given you a reason to be will actually push your partner even further from you. So it does the opposite of what you’re going for. You might also find yourself really rushing things. If you’re being needy or clingy, If you’ve been on two dates and already asked her to be your girlfriend, slow it down, partner, rushing things.
Doesn’t do you or the other person involved any favors. In fact, it often just makes things worse and sends her running for the Hills. There is truly no need to rush. And when we put a time constraint on something, it causes us to panic. It creates unnecessary pressure and stress and just an overall negative result.
So I know I just gave a couple of examples. I think those are some of the most common ones. See with men who are being needy or clingy. Um, but overall here, I would say, work on building your self-esteem and your confidence and creating a secure attachment.
4 No purpose or your life revolves around her.
The clingy and Navy point leads me to this one. Having things that you enjoy on your own are incredibly important, especially when you’re in a relationship with someone. This helps you create a more fulfilling, happy life on your own without relying on someone else for that, person. You’re with should enhance your life and enhance your happiness.
Not be your life or be yours. We do not wanna have a scarcity mindset. We want to approach dating with an abundance mindset going into dating with this scarcity mindset does not do you or the person you’re dating any favors. I’ve also done some videos about this. If you want to learn a little bit more about it and how to avoid it.
And it seems like women would like the fact that you’re making your life revolve around her. But I promise you, they don’t. Women like a guy who has his own life and his things going on and isn’t being needy or clingy or following her around like a little Pokemon or puppy dog, your life should just simply not revolve around another person.
And if it does, it’s a huge turn-off reading, workout, cooking, learning how to play an instrument, learn a new language. I mean, there are so many things you could be doing with your time that don’t involve just a girl, right? We don’t wanna be just chasing women and neglecting every other aspect of ours.
Over a girl. So overall here, I hope that this article shed some light on the things that men do that are often a turnoff to women. And again, as I mentioned in the intro, these are obviously turnoffs to women and women do not find them attractive, but it’s also not a good look for you. And it’s not good for your life either, which is why I wanted to highlight them and talk about them.